A Dancer's Worst Nightmare

One of a dancer's worst nightmares is getting an injury. I once had an injury where it hurt to walk. Over a time period of a year and a half, I went to over thirty people, including chiropractors, acupuncturists, body workers, and physical therapists. I finally got better but most people didn't help me despite their reputation. An acupuncturist helped me to walk without pain, but I still couldn't lift my leg more than 45 degrees off the injured side. A physical therapist for San Francisco Ballet did painful body work on me, but I still could not lift my leg past 45 degrees. He seemed mystified why I couldn't lift my leg any higher without pain. When he was not working for a few weeks, my body really fell apart. I then went to the chiropractor for San Francisco Ballet. I was one of the few patients that he had not single-handedly healed. Although my body was in less pain, I still could not lift my leg higher without pain. The chiropractor then recommended a body worker. Within a month, I was back in the splits. I was so happy to be back to where I was. It was very hard for me.
Dancing is life for me. Not dancing is like not breathing to a truly passionate dancer. Without being able to breathe, you die.When you dance at a professional level, you really tend to know your body. You have to learn to live with the pain. In addition, you learn to recognize the difference between sore pain and injured pain. In the end, the show must go on in the professional world. Thus professional dancers do what they can to make all the magic happen.

That being said, I can really identify with the character in the film I worked on this past weekend. My character, Ms. Rabbit, was once a great dancer. "She was in a horrible accident," says filmmaker Xi Guan. The character is now bound to a wheelchair as well as a rabbit mask, that seems to add to her predicament. She sees a dancer dancing and is very sad. White is a theme throughout the film. Although the film starts out in a darkened corridor, the scene then moves to the beach where Ms. Rabbit pours milk for a reluctant toast with an imagined friend. When the milk she is pouring turns to black she is frightened. She stumbles out of her wheelchair and is tormented by demonic masked creatures. She tries to stand but keeps falling down. They throw flour at her. Frightened and sad, she is once again alone. She tries to fix herself with tool reminiscent of the movie "Child's Play." Her legs begin to bleed and she dies. Afterwards, her spirit is released and she dances along the beach, free from the wheelchair and the rabbit mask and back in her tutu.

In partial costume between shots in the cold room

A sunset Friday night while filming at Dockweiler Beach

In between shots with Giz

"I'm sorry to torture you," says filmmaker Guan.This filming was not the easiest thing for me, that's for sure. "You're great," she tells me. I tell her I am thrilled to be in her film. She is in the beginning of the masters program as USC's School of Cinematic Arts, (Univ. of Southern California) which is quite the place. I still have to finish the rest next weekend. Some scenes may need to be shot again at different angles. Perhaps I will wear more fake blood and get "sand burn" (like a floor burn but with the sand). Or maybe I'll be freezing cold at the beach like I was for part of the filming. Maybe my body will be sore like it is today. Perhaps I will be covered with more flour. I'm hoping I won't get any more sunburns. It all happens next weekend.